Telling the Truth: Understanding and Supporting Lying Behavior
For many parents, discovering that their child is lying, especially if that child is on the autism spectrum, can be confusing and even concerning. Isn't honesty one of the hallmark traits often associated with autism? While it's true that many children with autism are remarkably direct, lying is a developmental skill that some children on the spectrum do eventually acquire and it can serve different purposes than it does in neurotypical children.
Research shows that lying among children with autism is often less about deception and more about avoiding consequences, meeting communication needs, or navigating social expectations they don’t yet fully understand. Children with autism can and do engage in verbal deception, but they may do so less frequently and less convincingly than neurotypical peers. This suggests that lying is not necessarily a sign of willful defiance - it may reflect gaps in social understanding, executive function, or emotional regulation.
At Adaptive Brain Academy, we approach lying behavior with curiosity and compassion. We begin by exploring the function of the behavior: Is your child lying to avoid a demand? To escape an uncomfortable situation? Or because they don’t fully grasp the concept of truth versus falsehood in social contexts? Using functional behavior assessment (FBA), we tailor our support strategies to the child’s unique needs and developmental level.
Evidence-based interventions often include teaching alternative communication skills, using visual supports to reinforce honesty, and providing positive reinforcement for telling the truth - even when it’s hard. Role-play, social stories, and perspective-taking exercises can also help children understand how honesty impacts others and builds trust. Importantly, we never rely on punishment or shame; instead, we create a safe space for learning and growth.
Lying can be a confusing behavior, but it’s also an opportunity for insight, skill-building, and connection. Our licensed BCBAs guide families through these challenges with expertise, empathy, and a deep respect for neurodiversity. If you’re concerned about your child’s honesty or communication, we’re here to help.
